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Sunday, May 23rd, 2004
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5:45 pm - If fashion is your trade then when you're naked, I guess you must be unemployed.
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The first and last. I promise.
CLAVDIVS
You're not the fool everyone takes you for. You put on a show to stay under the radar. Underneath your bumbling exterior, you are a shrewd and calculating person. You don't enjoy being in the spotlight, but you can take charge if absolutely neccessary. But trust no one, not even your best friend, because you never know who might betray you.
You were portrayed by Derek Jacobi.
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Which I, Claudius Character are You? created by
Shiny Objects
Ha, Clavdivs! Yay!
I am in fact a shrewdy shrew. Accepting life-partner applications, by the way.
I'll make this as painless as possible.
1. My dog sat down on my foot today. She's very cautious and deliberate, and this is very uncharacteristic of her caution and deliberateness.
2. Pussy metal isn't so bad. I wouldn't advocate it or anything, but. I could tolerate Paw and Danzig if I had to. If my tastes were coming between me and demi-Satan or something.
3.  ...That's Augustus?
W, t and f, respectively.
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(3 socialites) (meeting people is easy.)
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| Sunday, April 4th, 2004
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6:31 pm
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| Tuesday, July 1st, 2003
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10:21 pm
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As I was driving along to Pennsylvania last Saturday with a friend, I saw a sign advertising the Poconos. The "os" was obscured by a tree and the c looked slightly effeminate, so I saw Pooon. It sounds more fun than the Poconos. Who does not agree.
Hot fucking damn, that was some good comeback shit.
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(4 socialites) (meeting people is easy.)
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| Sunday, January 19th, 2003
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11:30 am
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Ladies and people of San Francisco, your drum solo satisfaction is very important to They Might Be Giants! This drum solo'll be very closely monitored for your customer assurance -- the estimated time of your customer drum solo satisfaction is currently 15 to 20 minutes.
If you'd like to hear this drum solo in Spanish, please press or say two!
Two!
For Mr. Clyde Stubblefield of the James Brown Band, press or say three!
Three!
For Mr. Gene Krupa, press or say four!
Four!
For Mr. Mitch Mitchell of UK hitmakers The Jimi Hendrix Experience, press or say five!
Five!
For that angry guy from Grand Funk Railroad, as seen on VH1's Behind the Music, press or say six!
Six!
For any song by Stevie Wonder from 1974 until 1985, press or say seven!
Seven!
For Mr. Buddy Rich... press or say eight!
Eight!...
...AN-I-MAL! AN-I-MAL! AN-I-MAL!
For Animal from the Muppet Show, press or say nine!
Nine!
For any song by Stevie Wonder from 1984 until now, press or say ten!
Ten!
To turn this mother out with Mr. Dan Hickey from They Might Be Giants, press or say eleven!
Eleven!
Ladies and gentlemen, Dan Hickey is entirely self-medicated. His radical mood swings over the course of the show are completely determined by the audience response he receives during the next portion of the show. He's wearing earplugs, he's playing the drums, but he's come all the way from New York City to hear each and every one of you scream. Ladies and gentlemen, he needs to hear you scream!
I believe there are a couple of things I need to clarify one more time because I don't know if you caught it the first time. He's wearing earplugs, ladies and gentlemen -- he can barely hear himself. He's playing the drums. But he's come all the way from New York City to hear! You! People! Scream!
JLksdjafjeljjdflksdjfklsdj!
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(meeting people is easy.)
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| Monday, February 18th, 2002
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9:19 pm
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swearhair's journal